"Death is more universal than life. Everyone dies but not everyone lives." -Alan Sachs

Things I've done the last couple of days include..

-had food poisoning and got really sick
-had the apartment to myself for 2 whole days
-went to a "John Lennon" tribute jam last night with my friend Rachel
-watched Almost Famous
-cleaned the apartment so it looks good for dad and bought strawberries and cherry tomatoes for him
-took a long walk by myself today and enjoyed the sun
-learned the song "Never Again" on the mandolin by trampled by turtles
-sketched 2 portraits and used pastels to draw an elephant
-tried to make cous cous and beans but it turned out terrible so I threw it out
-started an essay application for the Norlin Scholars for Boulder
-played bananagrams as a drinking game
-got lost on a run and maybe ended up outside of Arad?
-watched this hilarious video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwSqdL7fiE8

Today after 6 hours of volunteering with the Sudanese, me and my friend actually had energy left to go for a run through the desert and then do a yoga tape. My room made homemade avocado and cucumber sushi tonight and oriental stir fry noodles! We ate like kings and we're currently making brownies and about to watch Pocahontus. Tomorrow is another long day volunteering and then hebrew class.

<--One of the babies at the daycare:)

Today one of the kids at the Sudanese daycare I work at was getting picked up by his dad and his dad asked me If I could help him with his English because he's trying to get a better job. I tutored him for about an hour and he was very grateful and is going to come back for a lesson next week:) Here's one of the babies I drew:

The Ramon Crater weekend

Wassup. So my weekend trip was very last minute because I was planning on doing a hike to the dead sea with a couple of people but everyone who was gunna go backed out.. so I was really bummed about that and then one of my friends Rachel from Boston asked if I wanted to join her and a couple of people to visit the Ramon crater. This is a great example of how when one door closes, another one opens.. and damn it opened real wide because this weekend turned out AMAZING. :) So first we took a bus to Ber Sheva and met up with our friend Yoella who was on my Muss trip two years ago! She's on a pre-army program and had the weekend off and decided to come with us. Then we took a two hour beautiful bus ride through the desert and finally got off in a small town and walked around for a bit because it was so adorable and there were tons of Ibex's everywhere just chillen and walking around. (An Ibex is a weird furry deer like animal with huge horns). We were pretty lost and couldn't find our hostel for a while and we stumbled upon a huge CHABAD sign (those are ultra religious jews who host jews for shabbat all over the world because they want jews to perform mitzvot so the messiah will come sooner!) and all we had for dinner was canned food so of course we wanted a full, home cooked shabbat meal along with the experience so we knocked on their door and all 8 kids ran up to greet us and they got really excited that we wanted to come and told us to come back in a couple of hours. It was a crazy meal with all of the kids running around and yelling while the father was trying to teach the dvar torah.. they could speak a bit of English and the dad was trying to translate the torah portion of the week. After dinner and benching we went back to our hostel and collected wood for a fire. The hostel is located right on the mountain and so our fire was on a huge cliff overlooking the crater and you could see tons of ibexs running around everywhere. We sat out there for a couple of hours and drank wine and talked a lot, and then the fire went out and we went for a walk. We walked about ten minutes away when we started hearing LOUD bumpin music coming from far away so decided to follow it even though it was taking us into the middle of the desert.. we walked for about 15 minutes and started seeing crazy colored flashing lights! There was a huge rager/concert in the middle of nowhere and there was a good amount of people with electronic/dubstep music and we were blown away and danced under the stars...We met some people and went to the local bar (probably the only bar in the town?) and hung out for a while and then went back to the hostel to sleep. We woke up and got
 the continental breakfast that came with the cost of the hostel and feasted. I realized the difference between american and israeli breakfasts: Israeli breakfasts consist of many different salads, yogurts,fruits, and eggs, and a breakfast at an American hostel would have been pancakes,bagels,sausages,bacon,hasbrowns,waffles, etc. Just thought I'd share that thought.. Anyway, we packed our lunches and water, and went off to find the hiking trail. We didn't get to hike for very long because one of my friends had a sore knee but it was an awesome view and we went to a beautiful lookout spot and ate lunch. We finished the hike after a couple hours and explore the town a bit more and then sat in the desert and read for a while before catching out bus back to Arad. :)

dong nothing is better than being busy doing nothing

Yesterday, me and Laina walked about five minutes into the desert, just far enough where it is completely silent and you cant hear the roads and we sat down and did art. We incorporated leaves, water, sand and coffee stains in our drawings and just sat and talked for a couple of hours. Then we walked far apart from each other and meditated. I'm trying to work on meditation and get to the point where I can actually clear my mind and push away all thoughts that come through and be completely open and connected to nature and what surrounds me. It's really hard  though because my mind is so busy and crowded but it's all about practice. Then I came home and my roommate Casey made an amazing dinner consisting of  a cous-cous dish with pumkin,potatoes, carrots,and garbanga beans, and a spinach and tomato dish. Then we made brownies and went to give it to our neighbors because they helped us in our fridge crisis. Today (finally) we get our bikes! I CANT WAIT FOR YOU GUYS TO COME VISIT! You have no idea how excited I am. I miss and love you guys.
PS: Here's a beautiful poem I stumbled upon;
I don’t care about Time.
I want to curl inside
the arms of this Instant
and rest there.

Here opens this moment,
right beautifully now,
breathing itself new.
I don’t want to look through
yesterday’s thoughts.
Show me how to See.

Let me pay naked attention
To everything I see.
Divinity is all around,
under me, over me, beside me, within me.
Let me see That.

More news about the Sudanese..

So today I learned that the 150 Sudanese that left Israel DID NOT get deported but instead they chose to go back. Most of them were living here for about 3 years working and building up their life. But because around 1,000 illegal Sudanese come through the borders to Israel each year, Israel is trying to halt the masses of immigrants because there is simply no room for them in this tiny, complicated country. Instead of deporting them, Israel is going to put ALL the Sudanese without papers in a concentrated refugee camp, even if they have jobs and houses and lives and children here. Those 150 Sudanese decided they would rather die in their own country then in a camp in a foreign country. I'm really nervous for all of the kids at my day care because who knows if they'll be around next year or if they'll be stuck in some gated camp... Also, I've met so many of their parents and siblings and now feel a connection to their community.

Sudanese

Our heater broke and last night I slept with two sweaters on, my scarf and a hat and I still woke up freezing all through the night. Luckily, though, it was a lot warmer today so I could take some of the sudanese kids to the park. One of the little  boys' dad came to the park because he was off work today, and I had an amazing conversation with him and learned A LOT. Apparently last night 200 Sudanese got deported from Israel and sent back to Sudan. They were labeled as "Silem Seekers" which is a legal status lower then refugees because they aren't able to prove that they were directly affected by the war. Silem Seekers have less rights in their countries of refuge. Anyways, so the dad spoke very rough, broken English but I was able to have an awesome conversation with him anyways. A couple of the friends he came to Israel with 9 months ago were deported last night and he was very upset by it. He told me that Israel treats his people so badly and that they come here as friends of the Jews to work and have a good life, and in return they are hated and not given any rights. He said he went to the doctor last month with something serious and the doctor shoved him away and told him to just drink water. He also spoke to me about Sudan in a very positive light and recommended that I go there! I was like "are you serious it's so dangerous and people are getting killed everywhere" and he said "thats not true, that's just what you hear on the news. there is a lot of peace and people are very kind." I asked him why he came to Israel then and he said it was because he was Christian and Israel is a very famous, historical land and wanted to come see it for himself. He said MANY Sudanese are the same way and come here for religious reasons, not for safety reasons. He also made it seam that Israel was more dangerous then Sudan, and that I should go on vacation there... Ha. Wow. I know. As If you guys would ever let me go, Rwanda is even pushing it!

Life is good in the desert

My Rwanda group passed our 5,000 dollar mark for fundraising!!!!!!
 Today it's FREEZING in Arad but I'm lucky to have my blue slippers and hot chocolate. I've hardly left my apartment the last couple of days because I don't have warm enough clothes. Our fridge wasn't working the last couple of days but luckily we have awesome Russian neighbors and they saved all of our food by letting us put the basic things in their fridge(like eggs,cheese,yogurt). My apartment is awesome we've decorated really well. Pretty much everyday in our free time we do art and hang things all over the walls.Incense in constantly pervading through the room and there's always good music playing.Also, I made an "interactive bathroom" so it's not boring while your going. There's articles all over and sheets to fill out( ex- "Things that make me happy are, My favorite places are, etc.) It's fun and we keep adding more and more. I'm trying to plan a trip for this weekend but I don't know where yet. I'll keep you updated:)

She begs the sun to flirt and dance and twirl her around untill it bows down to her and folds up in her shaky arms.

Sand Storm

Right now I'm looking out my window and all I can see is a thick white blanket of sand whirling around and a big tree that just fell is half broken and laying on the rooftop next to me. One of my roommates left the window next to her bed open last night and her sheets are covered with sand. I don't think I can leave my apartment today, maybe that's a good thing though- it'll force me to work on my Colorado essay.

Today I went into my big backyard, the desert, with 5 friends and we wandered for a couple of hours, meditated, and ate a picnic lunch. I am now refreshed.

 This is a poem Kali showed me:

if tomorrow morning the sky falls... have clouds for breakfast.
If night falls... use stars for streetlights.
If the moon gets stuck in a tree... cover the hole in the sky with a strawberry.
If you have butterflies in your stomach... ask them into your heart.
If your heart catches in your throat... ask a bird how she sings.
If the birds forget their songs... listen to a pebble instead.
If you lose a memory... embroider a new one to take its place.
If you lose the key... throw away the house.
If the clock stops... use your own hands to tell time.
If the light goes out... wear it around your neck and go dancing.
If the bus doesn't come... catch a fast cloud.
If it's the last dance... dance backwards.
If you find your socks don't match.... stand in a flowerbed.
If your shoes don't fit... give them to the fish in the pond.
If your horse needs shoes... let him use his wings.
If the sun never shines again... hold fireflies in your hands to keep warm.
If you're afraid of the dark... remember the night rainbow.
If there is no happy ending... make one out of cookie dough.

I miss my fairy sister

And were like different minds workin off the same brain, passengers on different cars steppin off the same train, in the end, makin it rights the main aim. different parts of the picture highlite the same frame.

an unobserved life if not worth living

Fire:(

On Sunday, my Social Action group was going to visit the youth village "Yemin Orde" that inspired the Agahozo Shalom Youth Village that we're going to in Rwanda. Tragically, the fire reached the village and the entire village burned down. Luckily, all 500 kids were evacuated and no one was hurt but now all of the kids there lost all of their belongings and currently are displaced and have no place to live. Instead of going there to visit, my group is collecting clothes and supplies to donate to them.

Osho

Meditation says, 'Just watch the mind and you are out. Your being inside the mind is your fallacious idea. Once you stop the mind functioning, suddenly the fallacious idea will disappear and you will find you are out in the open. Then the whole sky is available to you -- your freedom, your eternal life, this vast beautiful existence is always available to you, to shower you with all kinds of blessings. Osho

This quote made me realize that I need some alone, self reflecting time. This whole journey of mine has been quite chaotic. Being in this foreign country with all new people and places to explore has made me feel like an outsider the whole time, not really sure where I fit in in this program, in this country, in this world.. This has pushed me out of my comfort zone and thrown me onto a scary, exciting roller coaster with nobody there to hold my hand along the way. I have had plenty of ups, and certainly plenty of downs, but I haven't felt "centered" in a long time. I keep waiting for a closure of all these emotions, the time where I'm finally reflecting and realizing what I've learned and where this excursion has taken me. I know it will come some time in the future, but as of now, I feel like a wanderer. I know that, "Not all who wander are lost" , and most of the time it's amazing just doing my thing here without knowing  where this is all taking me because I know this "gap year" is temporary and that my routine life starts later. Sometimes though I don't know what I should be doing to be productive in this year and gain as much as I possibly can. I could definitely use some meditation time to help me. And bluegrass.
 inspires me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGMabBGydC0&feature=player_embedded#at=16

exhaustion

I just got back from volunteering with the Sudanese kids. I was in a single room with just a carpet for 6 hours!! There was about fifteen kids, one old lady that they call "Bubba," and 5 of us Americans to entertain them. They were allll sick and damn, their noses have endurance;I was wiping noses every couple of minutes. The youngest one was 5 months and the oldest was a 7 year old boy.  It's really sad because they have little to nothing to play with and the older ones get so restless and bored. They should be in kindgarden or at least preschool by now. Bubba doesn't speak any English or Hebrew but the two oldest kids speak Hebrew so we can communicate with them a bit and we use a lot of miming with Bubba. She's the sweetest, most generous person. The daycare is at her house and although you can tell she has very little money and food,  she made us a huge lunch of chicken,broth,pita,turkey, cheese and drinks. We tried to tell her we had brought our own food but she forced us to sit down and eat. I have so much reverence for her. Being at the daycare for one day was exhausting and draining for me- I can't possibly imaging how she does it,especially in her living conditions. Don't get me wrong- the kids are freaking adorable and I love love love them. It was so fulfilling and I feel extremely accomplished. Now I'm starting to do applications alll over again. ughhh. oh yeah, and our kitten has fleas.

Host Family

The host family was wonderful. They lived right on the edge of the desert- their backyard is a huge cliff off a mountain. The dad spoke portugal, the mom spoke spanish, and the kids spoke Hebrew and none of them really spoke english, so basically, the conversation at the table was very limited. But the food, however, was not;damn the food was great! They had three kids- 16, 17, and 21, and one of them we saw the night before at the bar! Such a small town. They were very sweet and gave us all the leftovers and said we could come back whenever we pleased. :) Last night all of our power went out so we had to use candlelight but luckily it came back before the food in the fridge went bad. Today I'm going to apply for scholarships at boulder and maybe apply to Colorado College. Smaller colleges give out more scholarships and I think I'd like a smaller school better anyways..
One more thing! We got an orange kitten today!!!!! It was following our friend last night on the street so we brought it back to our apartment to feed it and it's chowing down right now on tuna. Soooo cute. Still doesn't have a name yet.

Happy Hannukah :))

Hannukah last night was really cute, we went to the local synagogue (it was as big as our kitchen) and somehow all we all seamed to fit. All the locals in the synagogue were so sweet for hosting us; they made us sufganiot and chocolate berekas to welcome us. We prayed a little and then played Hannuakah games. Afterwards, the two cooks in our apartment made an awesome dinner: fried eggplant with marinara sauce, salad, and pasta. We had an awesome candlelit dinner. These girls are awesome and hilarious I'm having so much fun living with them already. Then last night there was a huge bonfire on the edge of the desert, and then we went to two out of the three bars they have in Arad. :) The bartenders already know us personally and you start to see the same people over and over again. One of the bartenders gave us free shots last night! :) I like how you can make connections so fast in a small town. Everyone in the town knows of us and stares at us when we walk by.. Today I have the day off so I'm gunna go check out the fitness center here- to become a member its 180 shekles a month (a little less then 50 dollars) and I feel really bad spending that kind of money but I would definitely go a lot and they have yoga and pilates classes. Also tonight I'm going to a local host family here for Shabbat! I hope your Hannukah is going well. Can't wait for you guys to come here! PS- The fire was in Haifa where my Israeli Scout lives but her family and friends are okay. We got informed right away not to go there so everyone on my program is fine.:)

Arad

Arad is such a breath of fresh air compared to Bat Yam. It's extremely quiet and peaceful. There's hardly any cars, the streets are clean, the people are a lot nicer (so far everyone I've seen are either Russian or Sudanese), there's only one mall, three bars, and a couple of shops. Life here is very simple which I love. My apartment is on the top floor and you can see the mountains from our small balcony.

Hello Arad

(Camel smiling at me)

(Bedouin tent)

The last couple of days have been crazy hectic. Back in Bat Yam, everyone was really sad to leave the Israeli Scouts :( They added so much to our group and we became so close with all of them and it sucks to leave them behind. Aviv (my scout) was SO cute and surprised us the last night in Bat yam by making a little party for us in our living room. She put a candle out with tons of food and candy around and played a slideshow she made for us. She also wrote me a really long, amazing letter. I love her and will really miss her :(
We moved out and went to a random forest area to weed plants and trim trees. Funny thing about it is I went to the exact same place for Muss to do that and they had a picture of my Muss group there. It made me really miss Muss. Muss was the most amazing, spiritual and impacting two months of my life. After the forest work, we drove all the way down to the Negev to Bedouin tents. (We went there on Muss, too!) All around us was desert. And Camels. For dinner six people sat on the ground around a big trey full of rice, potatoes,vegtables,kebobs,etc, and just dug in with our hands. Then they blasted music and we had a dance party in the tents. I walked through the Bedouin village with my friend and we sat by this old Arab guy playing the harp. He taught me how to play a bit and then we got into a long conversation about the similarities between Judaism and Islam. Everyone got their sleeping bags and slept under the tents but me and a couple friends slept outside under the stars even though it was freeeezing cold. We woke up at 7.00, had an amazing Bedouin breakfast buffet, and then I went on a 3 hour hike through the desert. We walked through dried up waterfalls and river canals. Then we drove to Arad, found our apartments, and started to settle in. My apartment is definitely not as big or nice as my last one, plus there's 7 of us now. But it's still cute and were starting to make it homey. I'm really excited to be here. Good always comes from change.

PS- I know deep deep down that I will be happiest in Colorado. I want to go there so bad!

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."
— Chris McCandless

leaving bat yam

Thanksgiving Tiyul

Right now I'm sitting by my window typing and I can hear beautiful piano coming from the apartment next to me. It's nice having free music :) definitely a change from a couple weeks ago when all I could hear in my bathroom from the vent was screaming and fighting in hebrew. That went on for a couple of days. Nobody has any privacy here!Today was an awesome day. We woke up at 7.00 and drove to the Bar Kokhba caves. The Jewish people were planning a revolt against Roman rule, and for five years the word spread and caves were secretly built. In 132 AC, the revolt began and unfortunately the Jewish plan backfired because the Romans trapped them in their own caves for years and food, water, and even air ran out untill they all died. This was also a canabalistic time because many of the jews ate the corpses! Ew. So we climbed through these tiny caves in pitch black, some parts were so small that we had to squirm on our stomachs and push through with our elbows. Good thing Jews are generally small. I came out of the caves with scrapes on my knees and dust clouding my hair. Great time. Then we went on a 2 hour hike and got to a cliff where we repelled down the mountain. It was freakin awesome. Then at night I went to a thanksgiving pot luck dinner. It was actually so adorable about 30 people came and every apartment brought a dish. We went around and said what we were thankful for and a lot of people said " I'm thankful to be celebrating thanksgiving with my new family" :)). We feasted, played backgammon, and then me and my roommates watched Glee. Tomorrow night is prom, otherwise called a goodbye-to-bat yam and the scouts- party. I think I might have strep throat though so I don't know if i'll be able to go.

Rwanda update

Last night the social action track had an auction and raised 1,000 dollars for Rwanda!!!!!!!!! Some of the things bidded on were:
-Your whole apartment will be cleaned by Rachel
-A night on the rooftop of Tel Aviv. drinks and music included
-An extra day off of school
-hike planned by Jenna
-astronomy lesson with tamar
-Mystery box(inside was a bottle of vodka and chocolate cake)
-cooking lesson with Elana
-A date with Eyal (our madrich)
-Get your laundry done
AND TONS more random stuff like that. Our creativity paid off and we were really successful:)

ROOMIES

Last day of volunteering :(

Today was saaaaad because I had to say goodbye to everyone at the preschool I work at. The teacher gave me a big gift (matanah in hebrew)  with bath soaps, lotions, perfumes, etc. It was so sweet she also wrote me a long letter(meec-tav) about how much she appreciated my hard work(avodah) and having me around. One by one, every kid came and hugged me goodbye (there's 34 of them) and I almost cried it was so cute. She said I'm always welcome to come visit (mavaker) and I always have a place to stay in Bat Yam with her. It's really cool how fast I made so many connections in this random city on the opposite side of the world. Moving is very bitter-sweet, and I now realize that no matter where you are in the world, although it may take a while, you can truly find happiness because wherever you are, you take yourself with you and if you really love yourself then you can never go wrong.

how to build a smile

Appreciate.
Appreciate.
Appreciate.

A child can fall in love
with a piece of string.
A cat can fall in love
with drops of dust.

What did you fall in love with today?

Oh. Oh.
You forgot to fall in love?

Try it now.

Let’s love the day we’re sitting in;
revel in how it rolls out its mysteries
like a drunken artist, hoping someone,
anyone, will notice its design.

Appreciate.
Appreciate.
Appreciate.

Whatever we bless
turns into a poem.

-Found on the internet

I just got back from Tel Aviv and it's 6 in the morning. Super foggy out, and a full moon. This morning I went to Alana and Hannah's apartment to make MASH(scrambled pancakes, bananas,honey,nutella,and granola). I had to head over to Tel Aviv around 4 before the buses stopped for Shabbat. I had no idea where I was going but I figured it out by asking people on the streets ( I had to ask like 7 different people) and got to his house around 5. It was really nice seeing him again because it made me feel closer to home, because I usually see him when I'm just walking around the house and pops and mike are about to go for a run. His apartment is beautiful and is in a really quaint neighborhood. On the corner of his street is a little outside coffee stand and there's a nice park/fountain on the other side. I met Noah's cousin,Ethan, who is 20 and is in his 2nd year in the army. He went on year course two years ago and then decided to make aliya. A ton of friends on my program are already thinking about joining the army and making aliya. Sometimes I feel like I should definitely move here, but then other times I feel like I don't have enough connections here like any family or great friends. More of his cousins and friends came and we ate a wonderful dinner (plus drank expensive wine)It was really great having a full home cooked meal but for some reason when ever I have family dinners (the last time at Tuvias, and the time before at my Israeli roommates shabbat dinner) I always feel a hint of sadness because my own family is missing and then start to miss you guys and our Shabbat dinners/bananagram nights. (PS-THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE PACKAGE and BANANAGRAMS it made my day!) After dinner I went out with Ethan and his 2 friends from the army to Tel Aviv and two of my friends also met up with us at a bar on a really cool music street called Vital. We hung out there for a couple hours and then went to the beach and put a blanket down and stargazed. The moon was chedder cheese orange(no exaggeration) over the ocean and we we startgazed for a while (I saw a shooting star) and somehow all that time zoomed by and we took a taxi home at 5.30. For some reason I'm not tired at all, but It's probably best that I go to sleep because the light is already creeping in my window...
Goodnight fam.

Day

So today I had a Rwandan seminar from 9-4! Long day, yes. I had to miss the hike and biking trip this weekend because of it, but it was very interesting and vital and we were aware that we'd have to sacrifice things in order to complete our project.I was kindof mad though because like 4 people completely blew it off and didn't come. It's unfair how some of us are working very hard raising money and coming to all the meetings and getting things done, when others haven't done a single thing but are still getting on the benefits of going. The levels of commitment are very different which weakens our group dynamic. Anyway, we had a speaker come in that works in an organization for preventing genocide. He talked to us about the different warning signs and ways to prevent it. We also planned some more fundraising events and so far we've raised 1,000 dollars!!!! Nobody emailed me back except for Mike Berman about donating. Talia (our group leader) just got back from the village so she told us alllllll about it and everything we'll be doing, so next time I talk to you guys I can fill you in on that. I'm so excited and it really seams that we'll be making a lasting impact on the village/Rwanda as a whole. The kids at the village are the kids who will grow up to actually be able to contribute to Rwanda and help other people. Investing all the money and time on a small group seamed unfair to me at first because while a select group of lucky kids get 3 meals a day, education, therapy, etc, there are kids who are eating one meal every other day outside the village. However, I now realize that the long term benefits are greater this way because they are giving these kids ALL the neccessary tools and opportunities to succeed in order to give back to the country. Making this group very strong and successful will in turn boost the whole of Rwanda instead of spreading out the food and money, which would save more kids but  wouldn't be able to give opportunities for them to go far in life because they would be just "getting by".
We also got a book called "We wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families" by Philip Gourevitch and we have to read it by winter break.

After the seminar, I went to a yoga class that I found online with Alana and Hannah and it was so enlightening and purifying and right now I feel amazing and whole:)) It was taught in English(whew)at a studio in someone's apartment in Tel Aviv. Right now I'm waiting for hannah and alana to get dressed and then I'm going to Tel Aviv for a drum show that this South African I met is putting on. I have the apartment to myself this weekend because the rest of my roommates when on the biking trip thing, and it's so refreshing finally being able to be alone and play my music loud and have quiet when I want quiet and walk around freely and play my mandolin!!!!! I made a huge dinner for myself of fried rice, veggie shnitzel and green beans.
I only have about a week left here! It's crazy how it went by so fast... It's a bummer that as soon as I start to get used to things (bus routes, places and music I like in Tel Aviv, etc) were leaving and I'll have to start all over. But that's all part of the fun. Looking back at my time here so far.... oh wow it's been an emotional roller coaster. I've had some of the greatest times here, but also some of the lowest, loneliest times. It's definitely been quite a journey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZQaEnbm6k8&NR=1

When the air that you’re breathing in seems in short supply And the knots that you’re making Are harder to untie Let this be your Chance to grow With your arms outstretched And your limbs akimbo (chorus:) Well, there’s turbulence up in the sky Though most of it’s inside your mind There’s traffic jams out on the road Though most of them inside your soul All over things we can’t control All over trouble letting go So come on now let go of limbo Arms out stretched, limbs akimbo

When the skin that you’re livin in Is getting too tight And the lens that you’re looking through Doesn’t let in enough light Let this be your Chance to grow Your arms outstretched Limbs akimbo When the ground that you’re walking on Is shaky at best And your heart is palpitating In your chest Let this be your Chance to grow Your arms outstretched Limbs akimbo

We are not humans on a spiritual path, but rather spirits on a human path

Another crazy weekend up North

Me and four other people (Rebecca, Jared, and Seth are all from Boston, and Eli is from California) woke up at 6 in the morning on Friday and traveled allllll the way up north(three hours away). I've been there so many times now I have the route mastered. We started off in this really cute town ( I forgot what it's called..) and saw an ancient synagogue and went to a winery (we didn't try anything though because we were on a budget). Then we went to the grocery store to get food for our trip (canned beans,pees,corn,bread,penute butter, chocolate spread, water,mashed potatoes, and rice). Then we walked about a mile to the start of the hike in the mountain called Zahar Zavitan or something like that. We hiked for about 2 miles and then the sun started setting so we found a nice flat place to camp and quickly gathered fire wood because we had very little time before the darkness would creep in. Half an hour later, it was pitch black but we managed to cook rice, beans, and corn. Then we said kiddish!(over a bottle of rum) and went into some deep conversations...
Two of the boys I was with (Jared and Seth) are taking advantage of their time here more than anyone else. Every single day/night they explore and do something different; they don't waste any time here. They told me an analogy that went like this: Each of us have a sack this year, and you have to fill the sack with as many pebbles as possible and later on, those pebbles will turn into gold. Basically it means that you have to take in as many experiences as you can, even if they don't seam worthy or important at the time, because later in life all of those experiences will turn into something very valuable. They are hilarious, super funny guys. Every day they ask each other , "Seth, hows your sack doing today??"
All I could see while laying in my sleeping bag was the stars and the outline of the mountain surrounding me. In the near distance I heard coyotes and Jared snoring to my left.... The sun woke us up at 6.00 and we began to make a fire so we could toast our bread and make tea. That didn't happen, however, because a park ranger comes and ruins the fun. Camping in the nature reserve is forbidden and so is making fires. He was taking pictures of us for proof! The fine was supposed to be 700 shekles per person but because we were American and "didn't know," he let us off the hook. Then the park ranger looked at me and recognized me! A month before, I had done a different hike on the same mountain and he remembered me. :) Israel really is a small country.... So anyways, we ate our bread non-toasted and had water instead of tea. We cleaned up the campsite and went on our way... About a mile in, we were already sweating and hot and we found a beautiful natural pool and went swimming/cliff jumping. (Picture above) We hiked for another 20 minutes and found mooree pools /rivers. Another hour of hiking and we got to a waterfall with caves surrounding it. We went swimming and ate lunch and I dozed off for a little nap. By then I was exhausted, but we still had about 2 hours untill the end of the hike. The next hour was mostly climbing up boulders to the top of the mountain, and the last hour was at the top of the mountain walking around it to the campsite. We walked past a lot of cows and horses and met some other hikers on the way. We got to the campsite and I literally fell down I was so tired... I bought a chocolate ice cream  (ice cream has never, ever tasted so good before!) filled up my water, and then we were on our way.... We didn't want to stay at the campsite because it costed 30 sheckles, so we decided we'd find another place to sleep and walked down the road untill we found a bus stop. We ran into some other year coursers from a different section at a random bus stop in the middle of nowhere (Again, Israel is so small....!) and on the side of the road, cooked rice on our camping stove and waited for a bus to Tiberias. We got to Tiberias and found a nice spot on the kinneret with bathrooms/grass to sleep on/fire pits. We hung out there, made dinner, smoked huka with our neighbors,and then went to sleep at like 9 because we were so damn exhausted from the long busy day. We woke up and went for a swim in the kinneret. we layed around there for a while and then brought a picnic table into the kinneret to eat lunch! That was the first time I've ever cooked and eaten lunch in a body of water:)) Me and Rebecca found a ride into the city to buy some fruit. I bought some fresh apples and pears and we sat on the kinneret and talked to some cute Israeli soldiers. They talked to us about the army for a while and then helped me study for my Hebrew test the following day(which I aced!) Turns out they were traveling back to Tel Aviv like us, so we all left and went back together. :)) Weekend is over and now I'm writing a paper for my Israeli film class and cooking beans, green beans and eggs. Enjoy my pictures on facebook!!!!!!



http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2095988&id=1275210092&l=81b2227e07 Pictures from this trip

Sorry for my expenses.

Food and transportation for the weekend going up North: Around 50 dollars
New sleeping bag because my old one broke: Around 35 dollars
Laundry: Around 7 dollars
Advanced payment for next weekend(my whole section is going on a bike trip around the kinneret. why doesn't young judaea cover it??): 50 dollars.


SO SORRY FOR THE CRAZY MONEY SPENDING! AH! I will be spending WAY less money in a couple weeks when I go to Arad because I wont have to take busses three hours to go camping, i will be so close. Also, I wont be spending as much money on food because A) There's hardly any food places around it's such a small city and B) I'll be hanging in my apartment a lot more with my new roommates

Last night for running club we went to Tel Aviv to this beautiful running path and I ran four miles!!!!!!! That's the most I've ever ever run before!! :))))) Then we went to Eyal's (my madrich) house for dinner. His family is orthodox and he just became secular a couple of months ago. His family made us a huge dinner.
I'm in a big rush packing for this weekend. Three day hike/camping trip in the Golan!!!! CAN"T WAIT!! I hardly got any sleep last night because I was so excited. :) Will take lots of pictures
Love you

These are my little adorable kids/teachers (they help me with my hebrew) :))

-tea leaf green

Swingin from stars
too near or too far
watching them shine
doin my time
makin them mine
then i leave them behind

Freedom=Going out into the world with just a backpack and an open mind.

Thursday is when it all began. We had a mandatory young judaea event in a basement in Tel Aviv that was boring and pointless. To be honest,I don't even remember what we did. All I remember was holding on to my backpack and tent, anxiously waiting for the night to begin. The whataya-call-it  event finally finished around 6ish, and me and six people walked down to the train station and took a bus to Haifa, then a bus to to Naharia, then a cab to beach nearby. We finally got there about three hours later and it was pitch black. Then I realized we forgot to bring water!!!! And we were literally stranded because no one was around and we had no transportation. We set up our tents (luckily we had 2 flashlites) and started gathering wood to make a fire. My eyes slowly adjusted to the dark and in the distance I saw 2 fisherman sitting on the edge of the rocks. Me and Eli (a boy from California) walked over to them and sat with them for while and they gave us their extra bottles of water (whew) and some walnuts. We made the fire and started cooking. We heated up corn, peas, and carrots from a can, everyone else made chicken and I had a can of white beans with tomato sauce. We ate really well and hung out by the fire for a couple of hours talking and listening to the ocean. Then I went to sleep in my tent but slept with my head outside of the tent so I could fall asleep looking at the stars( I even saw two shooting stars!!!!!) Apparently we were close to the border of Lebanon and I was awoken by two Israeli policeman at 6AM. They asked for our IDs and searched our tent. (Security is really tight right now.. ) I woke up very smiley because the water was glistening and beautiful and we were alone on this amazing beach with just the sound of the ocean to distract us. We made a fire and cooked shakshuka ( eggs with tomato sauce), cleaned up the area, packed up, and started walking down to the nearest town which was about 3 kilometers away. We got to a gas station and stocked up on canned food and fruit and then waited at the bus stop for about 45 minutes. We traveled down to Tiberias and then took a cab all the way up the mountain, through a kibbutz called Arbel, and got dropped off at a campsite(or so we thought....) The plan was to tent out at the beginning of the hike(The hike is called Abel) and then wake up and hike in the morning. After the cab drove off, we walked up to the campsite and it was locked up and closed!!! We were at the top of the mountain, deserted, with nowhere to go and no transportation. We had tents and food though so if worst came to worst we would just camp out on the side of the road. It was only six but the sun was setting already and we had an amazing view from the top of the mountain.
We were debating what to do and where to camp when a huge, empty tour bus came right up to the gate of the closed campsite where we were sitting and Reverend Dave and his tour guide walk out and save the day. He came to check out the spot because in the morning he was planning to take his christian group there to watch the sunrise. We asked him if he could drop us off at a legitimate campsite and they drove us down to Tiberias and dropped us off in a really neat part of town. There was no campsite near but we saw a really cool light/water show that a hotel put on for all the guests. We walked for about a mile and found a beachy area on the kinneret between two hotels and pitched our tents. For dinner we made rice,eggs,beans,onions,peppers, all together in a pan (surprisingly it actually tasted good..) and fried bananas for desert.:) There were cats running around and I fed them tuna.I stargazed for a while and drifted off into a happy, wholesome sleep...:) I woke up to the water again and I seriously have never felt happier. Nobody was awake and I took a morning swim and then ate cookies for breakfast and brushed my teeth in the kinneret.:)) We cleaned up our campsite and then walked through Tiberias untill we found a cab that took us back up to the mountain we were at before so we could go on our hike. We each had to carry all of our stuff plus three liters of water on our backs through the hike( soooo happy I have the nice hiking backpack..I hardly felt the weight)The hike was INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!! First, we went to a beautiful lookout of the kinneret. (See pictures on my facebook.. coming soon) then started descending down the mountain. We had to hold onto cables while we walked across a thin strip of the mountain (it was pretty scary..) and walked for about an hour untill we came across all these natural caves. We climbed through and up them and I even conquered one of them by peeing in it.:) We walked an hour further and came across an old fortress from the seventeenth century!!!! It was build by Ali Beq, the son of of the Druze emir Fahr ad-Din as a military stronghold. At the entrance of the cave there were 3 goats and they came right up to us and my friend Eli was petting them. I gave them water and the started following us around. We walked up to the top of the fortress and ate lunch looking over the entire mountain, an Arab village at the bottom, and the kinneret. You could hear the call for prayer coming for the mosque.There were some gun shots coming from the Arab village, and a young Israeli couple that was also eating lunch with us explained that during a wedding the Arabs shoot their guns into the air. Extraordinary view. We continued descending down the mountain for about an hour and a half and started to see the Arab village. There was an Arab on a horse rounding up around 100 cattle! And a little further I saw some Arab children chasing a group of goats. We walked through the village for a while and we were exhausted and our feet all hurt so we decided to chill on the kinneret for a while. We layed on the beach, made a fire, cooked some pteteem(an israeli noodle dish), went for a swim, watched the sunset, dried off by the fire... It was all amazing and so refreshing. There was a hippi family down the beach with a big ol trailor and they were singing and playing drums by a fire so we went over to join and we hung out with them for about an hour and then had to start our long, three hour journey home. I got back last night around 11, jumped into the shower, and went to sleep with a big ol happy smile on my face. I love adventures.

:)

Last night I went with a couple of friends to a jazz club in Tel Aviv it was really chill, we just listened to music and drank some wine. Today I had Hebrew and I'm enjoying it very very much. I am doing the best in my class and working really hard at it because a) it's awesome to be bilingual b) hebrew is a really beautiful language c) because I have a lot of time on my hands d) my teacher is really great e) it's been very helpful to me here because I can somewhat communicate and get around here f) I hope to become fluent someday and g) I just really love learning for the sake of learning. it's rewarding. So tomorrow I'm hiking up north with about 6 people. Were camping for 2 nights :) Can't wait. I'll call you guys and let you know the dish.

I Miss chipotle.. and mommy

Weeds are flowers too if you get to know them- quote by winnie the pooh

Today I got 95% on my hebrew test!! woot woot! I also just went to the office to plan the hike for this weekend. There's a group of ten of us and were gunna start in Tiberias and hike to the Kinneret and then sleep on the kinneret and do a AWESOME hike the next day. We have no running water today :( But I'm just about to go to laundry (for the third time this week..) and then go to my friend Allisons house to cook stuffed peppers and drink red wine. Last night I played bananagrams with my roommates and it made me miss you guys. We'll have a rematch in december.
Peace, love, and Zionism

And today I remembered I was happy, and smiled...

Random.

I just got back from Jerusalem for a breast cancer walk fundraiser. I walked past a worn down book store and they were selling national geographics for 2 shekles each!!! I freaked out and got like 15 of them. Yesterday I sat for 3 hours in the laundry mat cleaning my clothes. Whoooo glad thats over with... Tomorrow there's a halloween party in tel aviv that the whole yearcourse is going to. I'm dressing up as a garden:) (everyone says thats sooooo jenna haha)
I have to go to dishes, they are piling up.

Love and miss you.

Jerusalem

 (Where Jesus was buried)

 (Armanian restaurant)

Today I went into the Christian quarters of Jerusalem which, clearly, no Jewish/Zionist program would be willing to take you and I had no idea how significant and important that area is to so many people. I was walking with my friend, Max, in the shook (market) and we happened to wonder into the Christian quarters and Max randomly spotted a family friend who was leading a tour through Jerusalem. We got to tag along the tour into this AMAZING giant church/building/holy center and see where Jesus was crucified and the tomb he was buried in!!! You can actually touch the ancient rock where he was crucified on and there were tons of people who just fell down and starting weeping because it was so meaningful. We also went into an Armanian restaurant for lunch(which looked like a museum because of the amazing decorations and artifacts) and walked through the Arab market ( of course I couldn't help myself and bought a long colorful skirt).

Blind

This morning we went to the blind museum that Craig went to a year or so ago. All the guides are blind and you go on an hour and a half excursion with them in pitch black. You can't even see your hands when you wave them in front of your face. First we got to a place that simulated the outdoors- we walked on rocks and grass and heard toads and birds and waterfalls and you walk around and find all sorts of things- benches, puddles, etc. Then we crossed over a bridge and got to a cabin. Keep in mind that this was all in a small, cramped place in a building; it was pretty freaky. We walked around the cabin for a while and I found a bed, a kitchen with teapots and plates, doors, etc. Then we left the cabin and got to a shook market. By sense of smell and touch, we figured out what all of the veggies and fruits were. I also found a scale to weigh things and a bike. Then we went into a carpeted room and they played 6 minutes of awesome dance music. This was the most exhilarating part because you could dance with everyone but no one could see you so I went absolutely nuts dancing. Think about how differently people would dance if no one could see or judge you. It was great. Then we came to a cafeteria and ordered food and ate at a table. This was all in pitch black scary darkness! It was amazing to experience how blind people function and how they view the world and rely on their other senses to live.

 I have gotten the bus routes DOWN and now travel by bus all the time by myself. It's pretty cool because growing up I never used public transportation but here there are little 2nd graders catching buses everywhere by themselves. What a different childhood it would have been. Earlier today I went with my friend Laina to do art in the park and then we had a barbecue with a bunch of people at the park across from my apartment and I ate these awesome veggie burgers that consist of beans, asparagus, and squash (weird I know..) and grilled onions and tomatoes. I have been picking up Hebrew pretty fast and got 100% on my test:). A couple days ago my Hebrew class went to a falafal stand close by and had to order in Hebrew in front of our teacher. The Zionist class isn't very good at all though.. were learning the same stuff I learned at Muss except in a very dull, non connected way. This weekend I was going to go to Tsfat for a love and harmony seminar thing where they take you around and you do a hike and stay at a cool place which I was pretty excited for but then I found out it was 250 shekles (62 dollars) so I'm not going anymore.:( Love you all.

awesome perspective

"every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. and, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. it really is the most poetic thing i know about physics: you are all stardust. you couldn't be here if stars hadn't exploded, because the elements: the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren't created at the beginning of time. they were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body if those stars were kind enough to explode . so, forget jesus. the stars died so that you could be here today" -lawrence krauss

Rwanda update

Our Rwanda group has split up into different committees that consist of public relations, tzedaka(which i'm in), Shabbat committee (programs we'll do for shabbat in the village) and field trips in Rwanda. My committee is in charge or raising the 5,000 dollars that we need in order to go. Basically we'll use that 5,000 to build a new structure there so the village can expand. A lot of the work we'll be doing there is manual labor, but we'll also be putting on programs and getting to know the teens that live there. So in order to raise that moneyI'm writing four different letters that we'll send out to America asking for donations- one letter is to jewish organizations and synagogues which I'll incorporate jewish philosophies like tikkun olam and mitzvot and lessons from the torah, one formal letter to non-religious organizations and corporations, one personal letter to family and friends, and one letter to the parents of young judaeans. So far I've written two! Were also making T-shirts and bracelets and selling them to young judaea participants.

(Below is the first letter I wrote)

I am writing to you in reference to my upcoming volunteer venture as part of Young Judaea’s Year Course’s Social Action: Rwanda (SAR) project.

In 1994, the country of Rwanda experienced one of the most horrific acts of genocide in history as the world turned a blind eye. The aftermath of the violence left Rwanda and its people in ruins; nearly 1,000,000 lives were lost and 75,000 children were orphaned.

Though the situation in Rwanda is now stable, the future is uncertain: A generation of uneducated orphans scarred by the past and lacking the resources and the support to become succesful and strengthen their country. Agahozo Shalom Youth Village (ASYV) attempts to improve the lives and futures of these orphans. Agahozo literally means “a place where tears are dried.” ASYV’s mission is “To enable orphaned and vulnerable youth to realize their maximum potential by providing them with a safe and secure living environment, health care, education and necessary life skills. To utilize education and service to model and create socially responsible citizens in Rwanda and around the world.”

ASVY, established in 2006, supplies a secure and caring environment in which the children are able to grow, mature, and heal themselves. Through group and individual therapies, the children are afforded the psychological support necessary to advance and mature. In addition, each student is assigned a family which provides a home structure novel  to many of the orphans. Formal and informal educational opportunities provide the students a chance for a succesful future.

We now have the opportunity to repair and revive the damages that we failed to prevent. We are a group of 16 American, British, and Canadian college students volunteering and studying in Israel on Young Judaea’s Year Course program. This year marks the commencement of Year Course’s Social Action: Rwanda (SAR) specialty track and it is our mission to spend this February at ASYV contributing to the well- being of the village and its inhabitants.

 Donating our time, skills, and physical labor is unfortunately not enough. The village runs on the financial support and generosity of outside communities. As a group, we are committed to raising at least 5,000 dollars in order to build a new structure to continue the expansion of the village. We are also collecting new items such as sports equiptment, clothing, musical instruments, towels, and shoes to donate to the village. Donations are tax deductable in the United States.

It is absolutely crucial that we raise 5,000 dollars by January 10^th  2011. Please be a part of our mission by making contributions to Agahozo Shalom Youth Village online.

To donate:

1.    Go to www.jdc.org/donation/donate.aspx?type=ASYV. 

2.    Select program “ASYV in Rwanda”

3.    Enter information and donation amount

4.    Check that the gift is a tribute to someone

5.    From the drop down menu, select “Other” and write Young Judaea.

Anything you can donate is greatly appreciated.  Every penny counts!

Thank you,

            The Social Action Track of Young Judaea

"I've been fighting my entire adult life for men and women everywhere to be equal and to be different. But there is one right I would not grant anyone. And that is the right to be indifferent."                                - Elie Wiesel

This is Tuvias little boy Shalvi.... isn't he frickin adorable? And Chelsea .. the gal I went with to Tuvias:)She's awesome.

sorry it's been awhile..

best lunch ever.. scrambled chocolate banana pancakes with honey, jam, cinamon, pears, and dates. life is sweet:) These are two AWESOME girls that I love hanging out with(and play bananagrams with them). The first picture is a girl named Rachel Aronson who's also coming to Rwanda and the second is Leina who's really into meditation and art. They are coming with me this weekend hiking and camping in Yehudia (where I went before) except this time there are like 10 people for sure going. Tomorrow were going to Haifa to see the famous gardens, the Arab shook market, and go on some hike. I can't wait! I bought a sketchbook and watercolors and have been drawing a TON because we have so much free time. Our classes and volunteer finish at 1.00 so we have the rest of the day free. 

it takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seamingly secure, to embrace the new. but there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. there is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

Today we had an all section sports day tourney. I played 4 pick up games of soccer and then we went swimming at a pool nearby!! Then I had a 7 hour Rwanda workshop thing. I did a presentation/powerpoint on the psycological effects that happen before and during a genocide.I talked about classsification, dehumanization, blindly listening to authority(The Milgrim Shock experiment-if you don't know what I'm talking about look it up on youtube it's shocking) and conformity within a community (look up the elevator conformity experiment on youtube). Then we had a speaker that survived the genocide!!!!! He was a Hutu and his family hid Tutsis in their home during the genocide and saved them. He moved to Israel to get a good education and is studying at Tel Aviv University. We also broke into our committees(i'm on the tzedakah committee that needs to raise 5,000 dollars from the United States by writing letters to jewish organizations, family,friends, making a facebook cause page, selling Tshirts, etc.We also watched Hotel Rwanda which is a great movie and it was even more powerful because we watched it right after the speaker whos experience really transformed the image of the genocide from facts and politics to a personal ,closer to the heart tragedy. The thing that pissed me off the most about the movie was how little the Western World intervened.The only group that was there from the beginning were the UN Peacekeepers who were utterly useless because they couldn't fire on anyone or "take sides". But that is almost worse then not doing anything at all. "We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." -Eli Wiesel. The entire genocide was discussed and talked about in the Western media but instead of acting quickly and getting involved, they argued over trivial things like, "Should this be considered a genocide? How many genocidal acts does it take to make a genocide? yadda yadda yadda... call it whatever the hell you want but there are thousands dying this very second so get your asses over there and stop it. People watch the news of terrible atrocities and say "oh my g-d thats so sad" but then they turn it off and go eat dinner and continue their normal lives. One of the reasons for this, I think, Is because Africa seams like such a far off place and most people feel no connection to it at all, but rather think of it as a problem happening on the other side of the world that doesn't effect them whatsoever. I think it's absolutely terrible and the most disgusting part of it all is that its happening ALL over again this very second in Darfur and Americans hardly give a shit about it and I'm in Israel swimming in the ocean and dads on his computer playing backgammon and my friends are learning happily at college at people are getting wiped out on the other side of the world. Why isn't Darfur the center, most important thing to us right now? I know that ultimately, its the government and the government only who can really make a difference and stop whats going on but people have seam to have lost interest in the subject and when there's no pressure on the government, they don't feel that it is imperative for them to intervene completely. Why are we still buying from china when they're supplying all the weapons that are killing masses of people1?!?!?!

Tomorrow I'm GOING TO TUVIA's for SHABBAT!!!! He lives all the way in Binyamina which is like 3 hours from Bat Yam but I'm going with my friend Chelsea from Atlanta because she went to Muss on a different time that I did. I can't wait to see him and pontah:)) Shabbat Shalom parents